Infinite Blessings!

So grateful to be on this path.  So much has happened this year.  In brief:

-I became a single mama
-I went into recovery
-my grandmother passed away
-my dad had a stroke
-my mom's cancer returned
-my daughter's dad became incarcerated, possibly for life, after committing a heinous atrocity against mankind/one of his "friends"
-I have moved twice & been almost homeless
-I have been living in extreme poverty
-I have started several new jobs
-I HAVE STAYED SOBER

This year has forced me to get serious about what is important, necessary, and valuable.  Spiritual boot camp (ugh, don't like the military reference, but I'm keeping the metaphor).

It was a terrible, horrifying shock to learn of the crime that my ex committed.  I created a baby with him!  I spent many months in close cohabitation, and love with him.  Our souls touched, especially in the times we were together in creating our daughter.  Shock... needing blankets, warmth, comfort, and to talk.

I laid on the Earth.  Called recovering acquaintances and friends.  Asked for & received an amazing Al Anon sponsor.  Journaled, smelled essential oils, slept, rested, exercised, bathed in sea salt, prayed, meditated, CRIED.  Went to meetings.  And more.

Less than a month later, gratitude remains--that I have the luxury of a clear boundary (jail), that I do not have to deal with his draining & soul-sucking life force (weekend visits), that it has become crystal clear that I will be riding off into the sunset on my own white horse (no child support or help from his family).  I'm grateful that we never legally established paternity, so he has no rights to our daughter (not that a judge would order me to take her to see him, at least in this county).

Further gratitude since my last post:
-a job I love with people who appreciate me (tutoring writing at local community college)
-making magic happen to come up with the move-in monies for our beautiful home!!!
-the cheapest rent around for the best location!
-hiking trails all around our house & neighborhood
-my spiritual teachers & guides
-Awakening.
-insurance covering my eating disorders group
-libraries
-rose-colored light
-11/11/11
-internet radio
-sliding scale, holistic therapy
-the pain & providence of the healing path
-my daughter learning how to communicate
-affordable childcare
-free legal services
-local folk music festival at an organic farm
-greater opportunities for joy, strength, resolve, determination, healing.

I am very blessed!  Honestly, truly, I could never have anticipated being this strong or as clear about where I am and where I'm going.  The gifts of awakening--seeing orbs, light beings, feeling contact in my body.  So much more to tell and discover.  Leaving you with some powerful affirmations & prayers:

- All is well. All is as it should be. I am loved and supported always.
- I (we) CAN HANDLE THIS.
- May I be at peace. May my heart remain open. May I awaken to the light of my own true nature. May I be healed. May I be a source of healing for all things.
- I am the place of the shifting resonance. I am the rose-colored light.


Love, love, looooooooove, and infinite blessings!